I am in a co-dependent relationship with someone when the drama of it becomes my focus.
Drama is one of the most addictive drugs. In the past, I’ve done it with my birth family, with lovers and at work.
Sometimes I still do it with the president of the U.S. which makes as much sense as getting caught up in what Kim Kardashian is wearing, I mean, ok, it is interesting to see what she is wearing but am I really going to get all worked up about it? Am I really going to “do” something about it? Or is it just something that I use to distract myself from my present time reality like I could use alcohol or pot?
I’m pretty good about not taking a hit of drama with my mother or my lover anymore. And I don’t get sucked into “it” over Kim Kardashian. So why would I get into a co-dependent energetic dance with the President? Today is not election day. Nobody cares what I think. And, for sure, my opinion has absolutely no impact on what is going on.
Co-dependency is an expenditure of my energy very similar to how I would be expending my energy if I was addicted to meth. It’s a choice to play a game in which I believe that “my power” is outside of myself and “over there”. It’s a choice to experience a childhood drama and trauma over and over again.
But I am an adult now. All of “my power” is over here. All of my creativity is over here. My connection to the divine is over here. The drama is over there. My business is over here.
If I watch a tv show or get buzzed, at least I am aware that I’ve reached out for something with which to distract myself. But when I reach out for a co-dependent drama, it can be a little more sinister because I have a tendency to think that it is real. But it isn’t real. The drama in Game of Thrones is designed to capture my attention and my energy. It wants to hook me. But if my attention and my energy get spent on Game of Thrones it is only because I have chosen, in that moment, to make it real.
Real is what is in front of me right now. Real is what there is for me to do, right now. Real is what I have access to having an impact on.
Kim Kardashian isn’t going to change her outfit based upon my opinion regardless of how much energy I put into it. Kim Kardashian’s life choices are not real in my world (even if I think that they are.)
No, actually, winter isn’t coming. It’s springtime now. Time to head out and tend to my own garden.