A year ago, I tore out this wall so Carole could see what it would look like to open the kitchen up into the living room. It’s been about ten months of brainstorming, reviewing various design options, having plans drawn, discussing with the neighbors and going in front of the Planning Commission for architectural review in an historic district. Some things take a whole lot longer than you imagine.

In the end, we probably have the best design with the most functionality we could get for the dollar. When its done, we’ll have a fully modernized kitchen walking out onto a large deck and the lower level master suite will look like it was part of the original construction. We will celebrate the historical design of the house and simultaneously prepare it for the next 50 years.

In the meantime, both Carole and I have done a lot of personal growth work individually and as a couple. I love old house renovation and I am also committed to old heart renovation. We both come from pasts – past relationships, habits and patterns. But as I say, the past isn’t the past until it is. Without an intense level of interior renovation, the past becomes your future. Left on autodrive, there is no such thing as free will. You wind up choosing the same thing over and over again.

Creating a future from what you already know is called repeating the past. So we took some time to draw new plans, to modernize the way we do relationship. We brought in a relationship architect to coach us on getting clear about the future of our dreams.

What do I want? Like really. What is the romantic partnership of my dreams?

What do you want? What is the life of your dreams?

Does it make sense to build it together?

Are we each willing to do the hard work of interior demolition?

When creating a new old house, I love to acknowledge and pay homage to the past. But I had best stay rooted in the vision, the dream for the future. Old house renovation is informed by the past. But it is driven by the future that I am creating.