Drama is very popular. What are your favorite addictions?
When we are caught up in drama, or whatever our favorite addiction happens to be, we are “hooked” by something outside of ourselves. Essentially, we are hooked by the past. And, since the past is not here, we are gone mentally, spiritually and emotionally when we reach for the addiction.
In the past, some of my favorite addictions have been marijuana, alcohol not so much, being consumed by work, and focused on making money (being “successful”) at the expense of my passion. Those are the obvious ones.
Looking back, I’ve spent a lot of time in drama. Power and control issues in two marriages come to mind.
I’ve had intimate love relationships where I was working out old childhood stuff with my dad. There were other love relationships where I was working out old childhood mom wounds. It’s all normal human activity here on earth school where the sign on the entry gate says:
“Welcome to Earth School. This is the planet of pain and destruction. This lifetime your lessons include 1) letting go of emotional baggage, 2) returning to love, and 3) staying centered in your own body.”
Hah hah! Fun game.
It all boils down to one simple focus, I guess. Am I fully grounded in my own body, am I completely intact within my own energetic system like a flagpole planted on that ground, or am I “hooked” by something outside of myself?
Today in meditation I was thinking about (yeah that happens) how when we are first born on this planet, all of us are totally dependent on another person for food, comfort and connection. Without mom, dad or some caregiver, we literally cannot survive.
So at a pre-verbal level, not in your thinking but in your body, the very first teaching in earth school is that your survival relies on something/someone outside of you. It’s a trick teaching, of course. If you are like me, it might take 50 years to unlearn it. But never-the-less, there it is in your body; the first lesson on top of which all future lessons in earth school are learned.
From that first lesson, most of us learn that survival relies upon scarce resources that somebody else has. It’s a perfect set up for the more advanced lessons of letting go of emotional baggage, returning to love and staying centered in your own body. Without an illusion, without the confusion, earth school wouldn’t be very interesting or challenging.
In childhood, we watch the adults and learn the popular games of power and control. We develop our ability to play the three roles of the drama triangle: persecutor, victim and rescuer. We get really good at it.
Power and control dramas are all about attempting to get connected to a life source that is outside of our self. If I play the victim then someone will take care of me. If I am the persecutor then I get to dominate. When I play the rescuer, I get to be the hero and, gee, won’t everybody love me then?
Unconsciously, as adults, we use our 10,000 hours of mastery in the drama triangle to continue to get our way, to continue to get what we need. We stay energetically corded to other people.
The term “energetically corded” means that, like energy vampires, we try to suck life force and energy away from other people. The reason that vampire movies are so popular today is that they are actually revealing something very real going on at the unconscious level. Okay, we don’t suck each other’s blood but we do try to suck at each other’s life force.
How can you tell if you are being an energy vampire or if you are being a host for an energy vampire? Easy, you’ve got drama going on.
If you are upset with someone, if you are angry with someone, if you feel a flush of energy away from you making you weaker, or if you feel a flush of energy towards you making you stronger then, bingo, you are playing the game of “energetically corded” to someone else.
You are trying to steal someone else’s energy. Or they are trying to steal your energy. The hosts (the victims) bend over and give their necks willingly in exchange for safety.
“My boss is such a jerk!” (But I put up with it because he gives me a pay check.)
“I feel abused by my husband.” (But he takes care of me.)
“She makes me so angry that sometimes I explode into a white rage!” (But man does that make me feel strong, for a while.)
“I love it when he pursues me.” (But I won’t actually let him catch me because then the game would be over.)
People are playing the game of power and control. At any moment, either person could just walk away. That would be game over.
As we mature into a fully integrated human being (after 42 years old for many of us), we reach a point where we just aren’t going to play the games of power and control anymore. We know too much.
We’ve spent time in meditation, therapy, yoga, workshops or otherwise just plain getting wiser and the gig is up.
Once you’ve experienced getting grounded deeply into your own body and become acquainted with your own energetic system, you begin to work more with (and resist less) your own connection to Higher Mind and Infinite Intelligence. More and more, looking outside of yourself for “the one” and “connection” is revealed to be a big fat lie. Once you know, then you know.
Of course, old habits die hard and slow. You might keep drinking. smoking, arguing, being victimized, or whatever your favorite vice is. But the rewards continue to diminish and what you thought you were getting “over there” just doesn’t seem to be over there any more. Because it isn’t.
Internal peace starts to look, increasingly, like a very good idea.
Personal peace comes from letting go of emotional baggage, returning to love and staying centered in your own body. Just like they teach in earth school. Maybe they know what they are doing down there after all.