It will be exactly one year ago that I met Carole, on Saturday. That makes it our anniversary!
There will be more about Carole here in a later post. But first, I have to acknowledge that I met someone else, first. Stick with me here. You know I’ve got something to say.
Let me just mention for now that one of the noteworthy aspects of my relationship with Carole is that there is no drama. And I mean none. At our age, we have finally reached adult. Not dead. But done. At some point in life you know what you want and you don’t settle for less.
Anyway, Carole and I don’t do drama. If something needs to be said, we say it. I don’t need Carole. She doesn’t need me. I love Carole. But not like “oh, she completes me”. She doesn’t complete me. I complete me. I love Carole like a choice. Not like an open wound needing a band aid. I’ve done wounded love. Maybe you have too. I’ve done “fill my empty hole” love, too.
Carole is a giver. She’s done “the work”. Her old baggage is never laid upon me. She owns her own old baggage. That gives me space to own my own. She is a full on mature adult. That is an earned title. Single mother of two is also a title and category all of its own. Accomplished business woman. Published author. Built her own house. etc. As you can see, she and I have some things to talk about. More about Carole later.
First, I met someone else, first. And that someone was me.
Over the past eleven years, I’ve gone through some time periods of crazy dating, as I call it. I also have had a long term relationship in there that I am proud of but it has long since been done.
Anyways, I am no stranger to crazy dating sometimes. Let me say it like this. When you wake up in the morning next to someone and you have chatter in your head about WTF!?, I’ve learned that the only thing that matters is that I am there with that person.
It’s very popular to talk about “them” and they and “what they did”. There is a whole lot of agreement about that kind of talk. Just go ahead and turn on your tv right now if you don’t know what I mean.
The advanced talk is about how every person that you come into contact with today is your teacher. That’s the advanced talk. Today, though, I am doing the basic talk. What I have learned over the past eleven years is that if I find myself in a room or in a bed with someone that, okay, I am not too happy about it … the person to notice who is standing or laying there is me. I am the one weaving a world in which having “the other” person show up makes perfect sense.
If I have drama going on with another person, I am the person weaving the drama. End of basic talk.
Anywho … it is right at 365 days ago, today, that I reached a point in MY life where I said that “I am done!” The generous people showing up in my life as my mirror showing me that I was doing the crazy dating dance, again, were showing me something deep inside about me. Thank you all and goodnight. I got to that place of no uncertainty that whatever it was that I was doing in the dating world … I was done. It was a line I drew in the sand.
I could say more about it but let’s keep it simple. I was creating drama in my love life. I could see that “those people” were my mirrors for me. And I was done. For real.
Carole showed up, poof, in my life four days later.
Like I always say, having road tested it for myself, the next great love shows up in your life when you are ready. Not when you think that you are ready but when the universe knows that you are ready.
More about Carole later.
Like my dad used to say when I was in a fight with my brother. I would say “but he started it!” My dad would say that “it takes two to tango.” I used to hate when my dad would say that.