My happy place.

 I don’t have to be joyful. Its one setting on my internal barometer. Am I joyful? Stressed? Angry? Afraid?

 I can be very uptight. When uptight, usually I don’t know that I am uptight. That’s because it feels normal to feel the way that I normally do. “Uptight” is a specific, scientific description of how I am holding my body inside. When uptight, the energy is pulling upward, in my calves, sphincter, lungs and throat; my words and actions are uptight too.

 Most of my life, say from 15 years old onward, I had incorporated a level of anxiety and stress into my body as part of my normal everyday posture. That was normal. My world was viewed through those goggles.

 Right now, there is an enormous level of deep relaxation. Honestly, it took a lot of work to get here. Will it last? I don’t know. But, for sure, I have found a new normal.