At any moment, I’ve got one of two choices. Either I am relaxing and opening up into the moment or else I am clamping my body tight and shutting myself down.
I once called this living from an open heart instead of living from a closed heart. That was at the beginning of my journey. Much of my life was spent trapped in my thoughts and I was life hard-wired unconsciously to the fear running through my body.
It took years to journey from my head down into my heart.
More recently, I have moved on down deeper and lower. The heart is the energetic center of the universe. It is the balance point between what I call “myself” and a higher power I will call Source. So, heck yeah, shifting into the heart is a very big deal. But it is not the only deal. In fact, shifting from the head into the heart is only one long leg of a journey towards total surrender.
Total surrender sounds kind of weak. Given the model of masculinity that I grew up with, the definition of manhood which is now just a hollow shell, total surrender sounds like giving up. But, actually, total surrender is about letting go. Total surrender is about dropping out of the little “self” that some call ego and letting go into the flow of Source.
Meditation is one way to drop out of the little self. You drop out of the chatter of the thoughts, into your body and into a direct connection with Source. I can usually drop out of thinking and lock in the connection with a solid twenty minute meditation. That’s a good start.
But there needs to be a way to maintain the clear connection to Source moving through my day. This is where the letting go comes in. This is the big surrender. For me, this process feels like dropping out the “thinking” in my head, all the way down into my feet and then down into the ground. The little self identity drains out of me from the top of my head all the way down into the ground. That’s called getting grounded.
The opposite is to be uptight. If you are uptight you are nervous, you can’t relax. Uptight is being worried about what other people think of you. Uptight is literally sucking in the sphincter muscle, pulling your self up out of your ground, away from your animal core and right back up into the thinking mind. To be uptight is to shift from grounded all the way back up into what some people call the ego. Stated another way, to be uptight is to move back up from true Self into a false self. If you are like me, you have probably noticed that moving from the uptight false self doesn’t go very well.
So, how can we get back into grounded?
The first thing that I do is to notice whether my internal conversation and feeling is in the category of “fear” or if it is in the category of “trust and flow”. Developing that awareness is the biggest part of it. For most of us, most of the time, uptight and fearful is so “normal” that you can’t even tell when you are in that place. But once you know then you know.
If you notice that your internal chatter and feeling is more in the “fear” category then the first thing to do is to own it. You don’t pretend that there is no fear. You don’t “man up”. Instead, you feel your feelings. You tell the truth about your feelings. You embrace your feelings and you continue to feel them. By the way, another term for uptight is being “full of shit.” Literally. When I am uptight, my intestines begin to fill up excessively. That’s just the way that it is. When I hold on to fear my body begins to bloat.
When I am in flow and grounded, my bowels empty out. My body naturally slims down. Everything begins flowing, literally.
If you find yourself in a more fearful place, begin to breathe into it. Feel it. Tell the truth about it. Then slowly and patiently begin to visualize the fluid of fear and ego draining out of your body. Visualize that the fear and the ego is a liquid of a specific color that has filled your body from your feet all the way to the top of your head. Begin to let this fearful liquid drain out from the top of your head all the way down to your feet and out, down into the ground.
Relax your face. Allow your shoulders to drop. Let the tension in your chest dissolve. Feel the tightness draining down out of your gut. Your sphincter muscle relaxes. The fearful liquid drains completely out of your body and down into the ground. Begin to breathe deeply and intentionally. This is a great walking meditation for your day, all day long.
Shift out of the thinking chatter in your head. Move down into your gut and feel your body. Allow the little self called “me” to drain completely out of your body and down into the ground. Relax into it.
Begin to allow your body to be filled by a white light coming in from all directions around you. Become the white light. Channel the white light.
This is who you really are.