I just cranked out an entire book about connecting deeply with my masculine. My life has, actually, been full of masculine achievements like this writing of a complete book at a fast clip.

Talking with a buddy this morning helped me to see that really what I am wanting to connect to now is my feminine aspect. Funny that I couldn’t see that until just now. I keep going deeper and deeper into my masculine but that doesn’t seem to be where I have been stuck in the first place.

I had felt like, in the recent marriage, that I was not as deeply grounded into my masculine as I would have liked. Hence the motivation for the book. But actually the missing piece for me was the deep talk. I was the one wanting to talk everything through. I was the one wanting to leave the world of my dad – construction – behind but did not quite pull the trigger on goodbye. I am the one who desires being deeply emotional.

This morning’s conversation with my buddy leaves me looking into the void of something like how I keep heading deeper into my “masculine” but really, now, I am wanting to head into the feminine. I don’t have much of an idea about what that is about. I mean, I get it conceptually but I have never truely gone there. I only know that the door is now open. That is a huge opening for me. Could be the basis for the next book.

The terms “male” and “female” are about gender and body parts. Male and female are descriptions of the physical world. Masculine and feminine are descriptions of the energy world.

The energy spectrum of which the feminine energy and the masculine energy are two polarities can be thought of like an ocean wave as it comes to shore before it begins to break. It forms the perfect curve of a sine wave. A “sine wave” is a mathematical name for a repeating wave that looks just like the waves coming in from the ocean. There is a high part of the wave, the peak. There is a low part of the wave, the trough. The high part of the human energy wave is the masculine. The low part of the human energy wave is the feminine.

Which part of the wave is in control? Neither. Which part leads? The masculine, for the moment. But soon enough the molecules in the trough will fluidly shift from the feminine to the masculine peak and those molecules will now be leading. It is a perfect dance of the water molecules shifting back and forth between the feminine and the masculine. There is no right way for the water molecules to be, they just shift back and forth naturally. Up and down, as they come in from the ocean towards the beach.

In a third stage intimate relationship, each of the partners has a fluidity which allows them to switch roles. Sometimes the masculine man will flow into a more feminine version of himself. Sometimes the feminine woman will flow into a more masculine version of herself. The feminine woman might take the masculine lead on the finances. The masculine man might take a feminine lead on decorating the house. In an evolved relationship with aware partners, there is an energetic dance in which both partners demonstrate the freedom to flow back and forth between the feminine and masculine polarities.

Also, the feminine-masculine spectrum and conversation could easily be applied to a female-female love relationship or a male-male love relationship. But that’s not my area of expertise so I am sticking to a more heterosexual love couple for my conversation here.

There are relationships where the female is the more masculine energy primarily and where the male is the more feminine energy primarily. It is a matter of choice not a matter of right and wrong.

“Male” and “female” are body parts. “Masculine” and “feminine” are polarities of the energy running through each of us.